Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
