walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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