Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is her dick bigger than yours?
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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