If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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