I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
