i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
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