Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
