So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
