he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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