i don't like sucking hair
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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