3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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