I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
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