you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
