What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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