And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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