and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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