I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Randomize
