Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Randomize
