I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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