he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
