So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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