I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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