So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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