just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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