I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
