ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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