You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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