I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
