but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Randomize
