walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
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I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
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Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
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