He asked to "fluff my boner.."
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
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