i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
