I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize
