I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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