How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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