So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
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