I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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