i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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