It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
