Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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