Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
