Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
