Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
