Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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