I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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