Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
