Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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