I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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