your thong is hanging out like whoa
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize