I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Are we in a gay sports bar?
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize