I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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