do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
