if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
