Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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