how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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