I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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