Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
