Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
