it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
