drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Vodka?
Forever.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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