So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
