I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
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