All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
