I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
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